Instead of 'You're Okay'
I'm going to be perfectly honest: with children, it's less about what you say and more about how you say it. Body posture and tone will always communicate more than our words. So please keep this in mind as you are trying out these suggested phrases.
❓How many of us have reacted to our child falling down and bonking their head with, Oh you're okay! Or a friend takes a toy from your child, and we say, You're fine, she just wants to play!
🔥Of course we are simply trying to reassure our children that they're fine. And in most situations, they truly are. BUT, this is not how our child feels.
👉🏼As adults, we love to rationalize our children's emotional experiences. Except, emotions aren't from the rational part of our brains. Emotions exist within the limbic system, the part of our brain that quickly processes fear and threat. It's our survival part of the brain. Our memories are also stored here.
💞This is why communicating with compassion and understanding will have a long-lasting impact on your child's emotional intelligence. Think of it as brain food that serves to enhance the wiring between the emotional and rational part of the brain.
💞We want our children to have a rich understanding of their internal world while also being able to take perspective. This skill comes with age and with repeated experiences of feeling understood by another person.
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