Close and Connected
“Preserving this feeling of connection and closeness is a child’s most critical need - to feel warmth and safety, to belong, to matter, to find favor, and to find approval in the eyes of those he cares about... when your child knows how much he matters to you, he can let go - his mind is free to create, explore, discover new interests, and express his unique self.” Neufeld.
I had an amazing conversation with an amazing mama the other day and she is doing such a great job but she feels like she is failing her daughter. My heart just broke listening to her. This is really the theme of a lot of my consultations these days and this is how I felt the first few years of raising my little ones. That need to be perfect left me feeling completely burnt out. There is WAY TOO MUCH information out there - they should be potty trained by this age, they shouldn’t eat at night by this age, they should always be happy because that shows you are a good mom, they should be in this type of daycare, they shouldn’t be in daycare, etc. Although information can be helpful (I am quite obsessed with learning), it can also be overwhelming and really make parents feel like failures. If we can remember the quote above - making sure that our children feel loved and safe, that they feel close and connected, making sure that they feel like they matter to you and that they belong. That is what is important. Weigh all your parenting decisions on that and that alone and you will not go wrong ...
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